I Don't Believe In Hypothetical Situations, It'sLike Lying To Your Brain

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white


As I Lay Sleeping Pt 7
Jack/Liz hug 30 rock
samuraichikx

Fandom: 30 Rock

Pairing: Jack/Liz

Spoilers: Season 4, but before Nancy and Avery and babies and anger, and the previous installments of this series

Rating: PG

Author's Note: This is something I wanted to have done before the end of September...but uh...Yay, College! Happy Holidays nerds =) And thank you to those of you who had faith in me until the very end, even if it took me over a year to finish this damn thing.

 

 

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Dear 30 Rock...
Alec Bmw tux
samuraichikx

Dear 30 Rock,

 

First of all, I would like to thoroughly congratulate you on being renewed for a 6th season. None of us, and by us I include you too, thought that you would make it this far. Though what makes that statement funny is the serious absurdity of it. Of course you would make it this far, because from the get-go you were an absolutely brilliant show with the guts to challenge the expected conventions of television. In fact, what you did was take everything we ever knew about television and turn it right upside down, and we loved it.

 

I remember as clear as day the first time I had seen your show. I had to babysit that night, and at the end of my shift, instead of going home, was offered to stay for a bit and watch some tivo'ed shows. I remember falling in love with the Weekend Update anchor Tina Fey and was wondering for about two years where she had disappeared off to. Then, imagine my surprise when after starting the first Tivo, I see Alec Baldwin's character talking to this “Mr. Geiss” as he was called stream smoothly from a joke about the Federal Reserve into none other than Ms. Fey herself, in all her glory. What followed was something that I daresay had not made me laugh that hard in quite some time, and needless to say had me intrigued. It was the tail end of the second season, and I didn't know much of the back story, but all I could say was that it was absolutely hilarious, charming. So, when summer vacation hit I blew off whatever summer homework I had and watched the first and second seasons in their entirety. I'm sorry, not watched, thouroughly enjoyed, so much so that by the end of it, I was very much so invested in the characters and world you had created.

I loved it, it took me to a world where I could actually imagine the process behind writing a comedy show. To a place with a remarkebly relatable character such as Liz Lemon, someone real, strong, deep, that I could not only look up to and relish in her successes, her nerdiness, but also enjoy myself when she failed. Then there was also Jack Donaghy, the supposedly perfect though perfectly flawed lovable form of someone with the potential to grow, and watch fail despite himself. I loved these characters, their banter, all of their scenes together, even their snipes at each other. We would laugh at Jack's snipes at Liz's appearance simply because it wasn't true. Which brings me back to my first point: absurdity. We all knew that Liz was a beautiful woman, and jokes about her appearance were cute for about a season and a half, because they just weren't true. Then, again, there's Jack Donaghy, the man your audience has come to love despite his recognizable flaws. What these two characters did for eachother was beyond what any new show could ask for. For one, you had amazing actor chemistry, which seldomly happens. You had two characters, complete and polar opposites of eachother come to need eachother, come to learn from each other, each preparing them for the inevitable change in character that is a simple aspect of STORYTELLING. It was marvelous, leaving even someone like me, who has seen every episode in the first three seasons more than once, laughing hysterically as if it had only recently aired, but still left me with a warm fuzzy feeling in my heart. As much as you don't want to admit it, these characters needed each other, and ultimately grew from one another.

As we slowly progressed into season four, and now, season five I fear you have lost sight of what you once had. You took a beautiful thing and crushed it into tiny, unrecognizable pieces. What used to be a largely relatable and likeable character has turned into nothing more than, dare I quote it “A white-whiskered gibbon, placed only on this planet to dance around for [The audience's] amusement”. You took Liz, an amazingly beautiful, deep, and complex character and turned her into what we had all assumed was absolutely absurd in the first two seasons and made it an obscure reality. You have taken one man who had grown immensely from said character and reverted him back to the Jack Donaghy of five years ago. The one who would marry Biaca, the one who sleeps with “a carousel of super-hot women [he] couldn't care less about” only now, you've tried to solidify it by placing him with a hardly convincing character I absolutely dread having to watch on screen and whom I ultimately feel confidence (based on ep 5.01) will end in a tragic divorce.

What we feared was ( and in the end appeared apparently consequentially) that the apparent intelligence ( or, dare I say, lack thereof) of the average viewership in this country has declined spectacularly, to the point where some can't even laugh at a television show without being told to. That the average viewer, so entranced with modern reality shows showcasing and endless stream of us...watching ourselves-watching ourselves- watching ourselves would not be able to comprehend the subtexual hilarity of the show, and thus was where your initial success stemmed from, why you were voted best comedy three years in a row. It was no accident, it was pure brilliance, stemming from (and I may be forced to quote Tina Fey here) people responsible for lines such as “Never go with a hippie to a second location”. May I ask what happened after that?

I'm pretty much resigned to the fact that Jack and Liz are never going to get together. That's fine, life goes on. Tina has said it a million times, and I don't see a vast number of audience members particularly keen on the idea either. What I'm concerned about is the way you approached it. You had a golden dynamic, one that left me more than once with a smile on my face and a warm feeling in my heart before turning in to bed. What could have been dismissed well was instead mocked and then slowly stripped down to something nearly unwatchable. You had instead taken these beautiful characters and stripped them down to essentially perverted versions of what they were, and had the potential to be. Now, I get it, I get why they don't belong together, because these weren't the characters we loved, not the ones we absolutely fell in love with.

If this is a very long, and cleverly played out joke designed to last two seasons (from the beginning of season four) reflecting the bitter irony of real life and how nothing ever seems to work out like it should be, then well done, you've got me. But honestly, deliver the punch line already, because drawing a joke out like that for this long has built up too much tension, and is honestly starting to feel uncomfortable. From what I understand, you have until the end of the next season to wrap things up nicely. I'm asking you please, to clean things up as best as you can. Take this shattered vase and piece it back together as quickly as as best as you can. Of course it will have a few holes in it, but so does life. If you're only planning on ending at season six, then you should no longer be concerned about ratings, you already have a contract until then. When you were struggling for ratings in the first season (defeating Studio 60 On Sunset Strip I might add) you had depth, had brilliance, had the guts to try something new, and the talent to drive that point home. I'm asking you this on behalf of your long-term viewers... The ones that stood with you after the disaster that was the tail end of season four, before the election, before this Palin woman came along and brought this show the fame it deserves...to please...please...please...make the rest of the series what it had been, what it had the potential to be.

 

With Love,

 

(One of) Your biggest fans(s)

Kirsten


10 Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Humans
Night Cheese
samuraichikx

10 Reasons Why Computers Are Better Than Humans

In No Particular Order

 

1. Computers only bitch at you when you forget a semi-colon

 

2. If you screw up, you can always delete it, or start over, and they will never hold a bias against you.

 

3. Computers only break down on you when they're too old, not the other way around.

 

4. Computers understand completely that if you're too tired, you just want to 'shut it down'.

 

5. Computers never lie or cheat on you, they are loyal until the very end and always tell you when something has gone wrong.

          5a. Computers are never afraid of commitment, they come ready to go out of the box.

 

6. Computers do what you want, when you want it done. The only reason they don't work is because some human fucked something, somewhere up.

           6a. Computers ALWAYS ask before they want to perform something, and always ask if you're sure.

7. If you forget something, computers will always help you remember it, providing you saved it beforehand.

 

8. There are no male or female, purely black or white computers; therefore, sexism and racism do not exist between them.

8a. By the same token, computers have never performed a mass-genocide in the name of someone or something. The only reason they have ever been used to kill someone is because some human programmed them to do so.

 

 

9. Computers play all of your favorite music, and don't complain when you play it 100 times in a row.

 

10. Computers allow you to play video games, watch tv, and play movies all in the same sitting.


The Chocolate To Your Chip
Jack/Liz forehead kiss
samuraichikx
Title: The Chocolate To Your Chip
Prompt: An extremely late intended ham_napkin; She's like me in female form, perfect for each other,
Rating: PG
Pairing: Jack/Liz, brief mention of Jack/Avery, Liz/Carol
A/N: I really don't quite understand how every time I make food I get inspired to write a Jack/Liz fic. In this case, it was my friend who had burned her hand in an attempt to take the cookies out of the oven before a Halloween Party.

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END

Greatest. Haircut. EVAR!
stephen colbert smile
samuraichikx
I'm moving into my dorm soon. As such, I am also going to be starting my first quarter of college soon.

What does that mean? First of all, I'm scared shitless. Secondly, it's back-to-school haircut time! I don't usually go for anything too flashy, because I don't truly care enough about my hair to give it too much thought. My usual haircut is usually a layered cut to get rid of my naturally thick hair (insert sexual innuendo here) and a few inches off of the bottom to get it to shoulder length.

This time, however, I decided to be a little more ballsy. So, immediately I downloaded several pictures of Tina Fey from google images onto my ipod touch. So, when I walk into the salon and asked what I was thinking I said, more or less, that I wanted a "tina fey". The picture I referenced is this one, from season 2 of 30 rock:




I think it came out really well

Obessive Nerd: The Left
The great Tina Fey: The Right


As I Lay Sleeping Pt 6
Tina Alec Gotham
samuraichikx
Fandom: 30 Rock

Pairing: Implied Jack/Liz

Spoilers: Up through Season 3...I guess

Rating: PG-13

A/N: Hey! I made the deadline! It wasn't a complete month before I posted another one =D. I have to say, I think my recent obsession with hospital scenes has to be because of the fact that I've been watching house obsessively for the past couple of weeks. Anyhoozle! I'm going to try and make part 7 the finale, so keep reading! We're almost there!



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Escaping The Darkness
Garrus Vakarian
samuraichikx
A/N: Something I wrote in the middle of my Sophomore year in High School. I always find finding stuff like this fun, to see how much I've matured in my writing. At least...I think I have. You decide!
It's my half-fictional first person narrative on semi-true events that transpired prior to my parents' divorce in 2008. Enjoy


When someone told me divorce was going to be hard, I took them for granted. I thought sure, I would have to endure some hard times, and in the end everything would work out.
Nothing prepared me for what was to come, over the next year I endured more emotional trauma than any 15-year-old should have to. I had no idea what motivated me to endure all of it. Maybe it was the false hope that at the end of it, or when they thought they had tortured me enough for one lifetime it would all stop.
I had heard it all, every person who always tried to comfort me told me the same thing. “You are just being selfish, do you have any idea how lucky you are that you are able to eat three meals a day, that you have a house, and that you have a house...You are spoiled to death, your parents pay for all your electronics, books, basically everything that you want or need. You are so ungrateful.” It is easier said than done. You can have all the riches of the world, and have enough goodies to keep you happy the rest of your days. However, if you go through enough emotional drama it comes to a point where you are so trapped in that darkness where you have virtually no hope that things will get better, and you can never see the light that is the greener grass on the other side. This darkness is what my parents draped over my life involuntarily and without even knowing what they were doing. Ever persistent to make life better for themselves, and never once cared that what they were doing was changing me. When I approached them as a changed person, as any human being does when faced with something unfamiliar. As with any new or strange idea, they attacked it, and called it crazy, blaming me or my friends.
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As I Lay Sleeping Pt 5
Jack/Liz forehead kiss
samuraichikx

Fandom: 30 rock
Pairing: Jack/Liz
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: 30 Rock characters are the the intellectual property of Tina Fey, I own nothing other than the twisted idea of fiction that this has become

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Baja Day 9
Night Cheese
samuraichikx

 

I think all of the happy energy that I accumulated over the past year has dwindled down to nothing. Lately I've been feeling as apathetic as I was before Senior year. Which, if i'm not mistaken, is how every other adult feels.

So, hopefully that won't happen to you guys. Cheers

 

I would write a retrospective analysis to prologue this last entry, but as it stands even that retrospective is a work-in-progress from me.


4/11/10

 

There was something magical about waking up to the sound of a car alarm. It's not because it reminds me of waking up in Los Angeles when visiting my uncle. It's not the drowsy feeling I got fumbling around in the darkness trying to stuff my sleeping bag in a very uncooperative duffel bag, no. It was that, just before I was woken up by the car I was having a dream about cupcakes. And it's a rather odd feeling when the cupcake king of cupcake land suddenly has a car horn for a voice. But, alas, that was our wake up call.

 

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Baja Day 8
Night Cheese
samuraichikx
It's really fun to look back on something that happened months or even years ago. I not only mean these journals. Recently I downloaded a series that I absolutely loved at the beginning of high school. Now, I can turn ordinary sentences into innuendos, but I also just love rewatching them and thinking what was going through my head the moment I saw them. It's funny how things change...

4/10/10

 

Regrettably, we finally had to leave animas. My group was put in charge of organizing all the equipment. It was a simple job, so when that was taken care of I went around the camp looking for other things to help out with, which mostly consisted of helping Steve Clark with the boat. After almost everything was packed into the cars, ours was the first to leave. I'm still not quite sure why, but I know that we had Alyssa's father (a.k.a the Algae-mobile) following us. Somewhere along the dirt road to LA bay, Jenny noticed that we'd lost the trailer. I couldn't believe it at first, how the hell do you lose a trailer? It was a bittersweet moment, because we were all laughing at how one could possibly lose a trailer, but internally cursing. When Allie's dad told us it was probably totaled, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. All that hard work for naught. Now, some random scorpion would make a nice home out of our reference books.

 

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